Embracing the New Year Finding Hope in Grief

Finding Hope in Grief as the Year Begins

This is the time of the year that we start all the new things. 

We vow to exercise, be more organized, read more, and save money. 

This is our blank page. When we think about how we will fill the pages of the coming year, there are many new beginnings on this first day of the year. However, this New Year is bittersweet. There is a heaviness to this new beginning. The hopeful anticipation of the new year was overshadowed by a wave of grief from the loss of a colleague of mine. At the end of the year, the collective joy shattered into fragments upon receiving the news of his unexpected passing. Joy quickly turned to sadness. The waves of grief began to ebb and flow. Grief is something that is all too familiar to me. It is a weighted shadow that comes and damped the hope for the year to come. When grief settles in, it reminds us of our impermanence and brings a sobering clarity to each moment, reminding us that each moment is precious. Reflecting on this, I would like to share some words about grief I wrote a few years ago.

Grief is unpredictable and ugly. It sneaks unapologetically into your life and demands complete attention. It drags you into a dark and dreary place where reason is absent. It wants every bit of faith you have. It demands all of you. Grief does not dilute in the tears you have cried. Grief is not a season. It is not something we can get rid of. We have to learn to live with it. Learn to carry it, wear it. As time passes, we grow around our grief, and it appears to have gotten smaller. However, sometimes, somewhere, somehow, it sneaks into your mind and reminds you that it is still lurking quietly in the shadows. It demands your attention. Grief becomes a part of who we are. 

You begin to understand that when the world celebrates the new beginning, it is okay to feel a range of feelings in such moments. We can feel gentle reflection, deep sorrow, and also hope, and moments of peace. We can feel both joyful and sad, connected and lonely. We can be in denial and also accepting of what happened. We can be resilient and challenging and also fragile and vulnerable. 

I hope you know there is no right or wrong way to feel now; taking it one day at a time is okay. You are not alone; may you find comfort and strength in the love that surrounds you. This new year is a gentle reminder that when we turn the page this year, we do so gently, knowing that grief will bring both sorrow and a sense of hope by carrying the legacy and impact of those whom we love in our hearts.